On Disappointing Chicken

We’ve all done this.  Or maybe you haven’t.  you might just be one of those Pinterest junkies that pin and pin and pin stuff, but don’t actually ever make a single thing…. ok, yes, i am judging you.

but anyways, i was looking for a quick crockpot recipe yesterday that used the few things i had around the house. i just randomly searched the internet, and as usual, it brought me to Pinterest.  pictured was a mouth-watering looking piece of chicken, smothered in what appeared to be a scrumptious brown sugary-garlic-tastic sauce.  i was sold.  i quickly got all of the ingredients out and chucked em all into the crockpot, turned it on and then went about messing around with the usual things i mess with in the evening.

i tell you what—– the smell that came from that crockpot? PURE JOY!  brown sugar, garlic, apple cider vinegar, crushed red pepper?  DE-LIGHT-FUL!  i just could NOT wait the eight hours it was going to take for this amazement.

*hops into time machine, eight hours later*

i took the first bite of that chicken expecting heaven- and in return, got a mouthful of MEH.  like for serious. MEH.  absolute meh-ness. like, an entire stick of butter, a cup of shredded cheese and some TACO BELL on top of it wouldn’t have even helped how boring this entree was.  i was actually a little mad about wasting my last package of chicken breast on that boring nonsense.  i ate it.  my family ate it.  absolutely nothing was said about this chicken, it was THAT bland.  after backing down from sending nasty cuss-filled messages to the poster of that “recipe”, i decided that it was probably just my fault for wanting chicken that didn’t suck. it also occurred to me that i could make better tasting chicken than BROWN SUGAR CHICKEN MEH-NESS and usually do even without a recipe.  

was i expecting too much from a recipe that had under ten ingredients? possibly.  was i swayed by the dozens of comments from people that repinned the BROWN SUGAR CHICKEN yawn-fest, knowing FULL WELL that i was probably the only person to actually TRY the recipe?  possibly.  should i have added salt?  absolutely.

do i have a point to all of this?  of course i do.  besides, ‘NEVER TRUST PINTEREST’, and ‘ALWAYS ADD SALT’, my point is that i should never get my hopes up when trying out new recipes, and instead, rely on MY OWN GOOD TASTE when cooking.

that brown sugar chicken shit? uck.  *runs to TACO BELL drive thru before dying of MEH-NESS*

Moral of the story- life is too short, and ingredients are too expensive to waste on boring recipes that taste like something i made in Girl Scouts.

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