considering that i just entered middle age without becoming a successful or published author, i can only assume that it’s going to be at least 65 more years until i get that amazing book deal i’ve been hankering for. i figure we’ll all be living in space and driving rocket cars to McSoy-nald’s. there’ll be no more books and everything will be transmitted by telepathy to our Brainvision (like cable, but cheaper). so, i actually won’t need to write a blurb for a book jacket, because even e-readers will be a thing of the past. instead of book covers, they do video interviews that get transmitted to all of the subscribers’ Brainvision feed; so i’ll only have to record thoughts about my incredibly life-changing, awe-inspiring, intelligently witty, breakthrough universally best selling piece of work. but since they are still working on that technology and i still only have an IPHONE 4, i have plenty of time to plan what i want to talk about. in the meantime, i also have plenty of time to get that laser eye surgery i wanted and lose all of ‘the weight’. i’ll start investing in some futuristic wigs and talk to a few drag queens about doing my makeup. i’m going to have to ask for an advance so that i might buy some clothes because i can’t show up on Brainvision in my Steelers’ sweatshirt and my favorite fatpants.
i’m fairly certain that my futuristic look will be a cross between Effie Trinket and Rose from Titanic. i’m going to have to produce several Brainvision episodes just to cover the cost of my glitter, makeup, facial crystalling and costumage! or, i guess i could just invest in a cybertronic *MissTheresa*. either way, even though i’ll be one hundred and five years old, i’m going to look GOOD. real good. oh yeah, and my book is going to be pretty great too.
<<<<Brainvision communication- signing off.>>>>