i’m not sure if it’s the three cups of coffee or just a week’s worth of pent up guilt, but i’m twitchy enough to get my ass in gear and start crossing stuff off of THE GI-NORMOUS TO DO LIST OF DOOM… i’d like to thank my friends for peer pressuring me into starting six more projects and this cold February weather for my incredibly flaky DEFCON TWO-level itchy dry skin.
i’m giving myself ONE WEEK to finish everything on the aforementioned GI-NORMOUS TO DO LIST. one. ONE. that’s it. JUST ONE GODDAMN WEEK. i can’t take it anymore. it’s me or THE DAMNED LIST. if i don’t finish it all, you have
my permission make that, THE OBLIGATION to pitch me off of the front of a boat, Jack-from-the-Titanic-style…. just chuck me right off. i’m not even joking. i don’t even care if i’m on fire and running from a pack of rabid, poorly dressed drag queens, if by next Monday the 24, i don’t have every single thing on my list done- it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY, dear reader, to throw me the fuck off a boat…(or cliff, whichever is more convenient for you.)