i’ve been thinking a lot about friendship lately, like everyone does. i have friends, good ones, and i think we all have those too. but i want more, i need more. i’m a flaming disaster of an extrovert, an attention whore of the highest degree. my days start and and with friends. friends! friends! friends!!!!!
i make friends easily, i always have, but i’m VERY particular with who i keep in my innermost circle, so find myself alone more often than not. but, i have to say, i’d rather have THE ONE, the PERFECT friend, than 519 Facebook-style surface friends. i need people that can handle my obnoxiousness, loud cackling and oftentimes embarrassing antics. i swear A LOT, have EXTREMELY strong opinions and there are no off-limit topics. i think and live completely outside of the box and instead of black and white, i see the world in rainbow and greys. although i can mix with really any kind of person or group, i don’t really belong anywhere, and this is probably why friend-finding is always so challenging.
but i don’t want just ONE friend, i want ALL of the friends RIGHT NOW. i want a herd of fourteen bridesmaids that are “totes my bffs”, and fight over who will throw me a shower. i want a crowd of buddies that rent limos and go bar hopping or compete in weight loss contests, or sit around planning camping trips and vacations. is it too much to want to frolic with a bunch of people in a fountain, for godsake? but as it stands there are no pizza parties, jet ski rentals or fun runs planned. nothing. but really, i honestly hate most of that jazz, (especially the herd of bridesmaids) and i’m happier surrounding myself with people that openly discuss bodily functions and find different ways to shock each other.
the friends that i do have text me throughout the day and we occasionally get drunk together at each other’s homes, and i’m actually very cool with that. but i definitely need more buddies after the last big Friend Exodus of 2013. those were some sad times indeed. i have had the experience that once my friends start intermingling, they tend to start sleeping together, or at least seeing each other more than me, and i’m all but forgotten. it’s best to keep a good and overflowing pool of people, so that when a few start to migrate, i’m not stuck going to pottery class solo, or forced to eat the Super Loaded Fries for Two by myself. cause i will! i’ll do it! JUST WATCH!
but how do you find these people? how does a person amass large groups of friends at one time? i want to be back in kindergarten where everyone at your table was your friend. you didn’t have much choice, this was your main social circle. you just were friends because, well, just because. or in first grade, your friends were assigned to you alphabetically, and if you were lucky enough to not move every couple of years like my family, the kids that were assigned seats near you JUST based on last names alone, continued to be your friends for a long long LONG time. second and third grade you were force-sorted into interacting with “Good Readers” or “Bad With Math” which is where i spent most of my days.
the years went on, and you meshed better with kids that were in the same activities as you, or carried Star Wars lunchboxes, and this was before anyone cared that you were a GIRL with a Star Wars lunchbox. and college you hung out with people that liked the same music or had the same art posters on their walls. the point is, it wasn’t hard to meet people- you just migrated to people that liked the same stuff. now you have to worry about political affiliations, religious preferences, intolerance based on sexual preference, income, status, your favorite football team…. it’s definitely not easy and i have tried it all, meet up.com, online groups, bars, local clubs- and there are just as many people out that that want the same thing- to meet other people- but what is it that bonds them together? what do you say to take that next step to “friendship” without looking creepy? how do you get people to actually get off their couches, out of their comfort zone and into wearing matching outfits and tattoos with you? you wanna be my friend?