i wait for him to finish his shower, steam escaping into our bedroom like tropical mist, reminding me how cold it is. i am calm and breathing deeply. i feel self conscious in my jammie pants and sweat shirt, maybe i should change into lingerie. the water stops and large droplets fall from the faucet, announcing the end of his shower. several steps and he is there. using the towel to ruffle dry his short chop of hair, he dresses, even though i plan to undress him several minutes later.
throwing the heavy comforter aside, he cozies in beside me. kiss of lips, kisses on neck, sucking of breath, escaped sighs, touches of tongue; the dance has begun. clothes disappear and damp flesh presses to flesh. from foreplay to hard and fast. loving long, greedy and hard. i cry out and melt. he collapses. we linger.
it’s amazing how quickly life can change in a week. i felt like i was on a good path, finally getting my shit together, enjoying the glimmer of a light at the end of the ol’ proverbial tunnel- and then this week? good hell. i feel like crying and throwing expensive things around the house.
my son’s girlfriend of 4 years broke up with him on sunday- out of nowhere- and he is devastated. i’m heartbroken for him, because she was his entire world. something is rotten in denmark- i don’t believe she acted on her own i’m sure her parents kind of forced this.
i also got news that someone i knew just had a heart attack and died out of nowhere, leaving his partner and everyone else in total shock. i just talked to him days before about wedding plans…. it’s so crazy.
there are a bunch of other messy little details in my life that seem to be unraveling when only days ago i was making a lot of forward progress…
the only constant is my partner. even at our eye-rolling-est snippiest prickly times he makes me smile. i look to putting a hand on his back as i am falling asleep. even though he works until 2 am, i can always text him; my lifeline to him.
i was feeling so insecure this weekend and almost effortlessly, he fixed my brain hurt. this is a new occurrence. he kissed away my self doubt and i love him all the more for it. our ten year anniversary is coming up next month and it’s amazing how much our relationship has evolved. i love him every second of every day and am thankful to have him as an anchor.